It’s the sixth – or seventh? –
week into my junior year, and, I think, about time to do some (written) reflection
on the semester so far. Because so far, it has been glorious.
The first word that comes to mind when I
think about summing up the past month and a half is gratitude. Gratitude for
all that God has done in my life over the past year in bringing me to and
growing me in Livingwater. Gratitude for how through all of that He was steadily
preparing me for the season he would lead me into this year. Gratitude for how He has allowed me to co-lead a sophomore small group
this semester and be blessed beyond expectation in watching my “small groupies”
grow and spur each other on. Gratitude for two roommates whom I can call
sisters and with whom I can eat, pray, and love to the fullest. Gratitude for
God’s daily, sustaining grace in my classes, activities, and job when it all becomes
too much for my frail human self to handle. Gratitude for the fact that He has
even brought me to Berkeley, where, after two years, I still walk around every
single day feeling joyful and privileged to be part of the community, the campus, the city. Gratitude
for the Holy Spirit that lives within me and empowers me to do the things I
cannot, or the things I do not dare to dream of doing.
I came into this school year expecting to
pour out into others as a small group leader, and as a sister and friend. And yet I
find that as I serve, I am still being continually poured into and blessed by
the very people I thought I would
pour into and bless. “I know I’m filled to be emptied again” – but out of his
goodness, God is filling me as fast as I am emptying myself, if not faster, so that there is a constant overflow of love and joy in my heart that I know only comes
from him.
It’s been a truly, truly blessed start to my
junior year. It’s also been the busiest six – or seven? – weeks I’ve
experienced in my two years as an undergrad, and it’s only going to get busier.
This week I begin my internship as well as official ISAC meetings on top of everything else, and I have two
midterms, a paper, junior special large group, and far too much reading to
depress myself thinking about. But I count all of these things blessings that
God has given me out of his grace (yes, even those aggravating midterms), and above all I desire
to be faithful with all that he has entrusted me with. So, even though it’s
2:43 AM and I’m still not done studying, and my to-do list has become longer
than the student roster for Astronomy C10, I am neither stressed nor daunted by
the coming week. Because I know that in all things God is with me, and his
favour rests upon me. And even if by this time next week, I’ve been fired from
my internship (is that even possible? I sincerely hope not), received all failing grades, fallen
sick, become overwhelmed or discouraged, had people turn against me, and lost
everything I have… well, may the name of the Lord still be praised. God is good
whether he is good to me specifically or not. I hope that I may have the
conviction and the faith to continue to praise him when hard times come, as
they inevitably will. But for now I am simply a joyful daughter who has much
to be thankful for.
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